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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Life of No Regrets

Inspirational books and Facebook posts would have you believe that it is the decisions you never made, the actions not taken, that bring you the most regret when you grow old. I don't know the kind of life these people assume we're leading- perhaps they feel we are all trapped in  our own personal Nicholas Sparks novel- but I've found the opposite to be true for myself. It's always the actions that I did do, the decisions that I already made, that I end up regretting. I've never had a case of "I wish I had talked to that girl", or "I should have gone on that trip". Usually it is "Ugh why did I fuck that guy?" and "I wasn't really into that person, why did we date?" or, most commonly, "I wish I had never said a word throughout my entire high school and college life".

Maybe it has to be tailored to yourself. I'm not the kind of person who shies away from doing something if I want to do it, so I've never really had a circumstance that seemed important where I missed out. I'm too impulsive for that. Rather, my impulsiveness had made me do plenty of things that I wish I hadn't. Maybe a better saying for those books and blurred pictures of trees with contrasting words over them would be "You will regret not having done the opposite of what you do, so... enjoy your regrets."

Also, if I were to have my life written by someone, Nicholas Sparks is the last person I'd want. That sounds like glorious raging Hell. I'd fare better in a Chuck Palaniuk novel. I can understand those people, regardless of their warped personalities. I simply cannot understand, get behind or appreciate the 'love conquers all' mentality.

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